Metro District of the C&MA » District Superintendent’s Blog

Improving my coaching skills

Bruce Terpstra — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:51:59 +0000

A goal of mine is to become a better coach. I’ve been reading many books on coaching. I’ve been through two coaching training programs which offered different skill sets. Not to long ago, I went through a 360 evaluation of my skills which involved self-testing, interviews of some people I was coaching, and having my coaching sessions evaluated by a professional coach. All these were invaluable in my learning process.

However, the most important thing that has helped me become a better coach has been the experience of having an ongoing coach in my life. I just signed up for another year. Coaching is an art that is learned through through experience. I find myself so often asking similar questions of those I am coaching, than that my own coach had asked me.

To become more effective as a coach, you almost have to have a coach yourself. Plus, if you don’t have a coach, you are communicating that coaching is not that important…at least for you.

I learned something new after 28 years of ministry…

Bruce Terpstra — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 17:09:55 +0000

This past week I had a great coaching appointment where we were discussing the task of casting vision as a leader. As a veteran pastor I thought I really have nailed this piece and had a grasp of all of its implications. Vision drives ministry. If you are like me, you could come up with 100 ways to cast vision. We’ve done it before. My thoughts went immediately to verbal communication in a large group setting (for me this is conference and pulpit supply). I also think of print communication such as newsletters and the website.

My coach asked me to write down every way I am casting vision and then to send it to him. When we went over it, I was pretty confident that he would be impressed with my understanding and implementation. After complimenting me, my coach asked me a penetrating question, “Do the people you lead know your heart?” Good question… He went on to share with me that he felt the best vision casting is done by osmosis. It is not so much the goals that are set, but what is in the heart that draws people together to accomplish the dream.

I am wrestling with that key question, “Do people know my heart?” Do people know what I am most passionate about? Helping people to see your heart takes a different approach than crafting a vision statement or drawing up “big hairy audacious goals.” Perhaps it will help you in your vision casting to ask this question as well.

When is the District rolling out coaching for pastors?

Bruce Terpstra — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 22:50:39 +0000

Before we could roll out coaching to District pastors, there were some things that needed to be done. First, we needed to develop excellent coaches. In order for that to happen, we believed that potential coaches needed to experience coaching themselves and recieve training. We have been actively doing this since District conference in October. Six coaches have been recieving…coaching and have been trained to coach. Secondly, we have been working on development of a coaching system that can be reproduced at every level of leadership both in local churches and in other Alliance ministry (i.e. candidate development, missionaries). We have been learning through our staff experiencing coaching from different organizations, readying widely, consulting with other Districts as well as Alliance Theological Seminary and Nyack College. What is being developed is a Christocentric model of coaching that will serve us well for many years. Although we would have liked to have rolled out coaching sooner, we wanted to make sure that we did it with excellence. It would have been ironic to have a system to develop leadership excellence that was not done with excellence. We expect that we will be ready to launch out with our first initiatives beginning some time in June 2008. Thanks for asking! We are encouraged by the number of pastors that are hungry for this kind of relationship.

Getting the Most Out of Your Coach

Bruce Terpstra — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 15:45:24 +0000

After two disappointing appointments with my coach, I was beginning to wonder if my time investment in meeting with my coach every other week was beginning to wane. I brought this up with my coach with some fear of offending him. After all…no one likes to here that their interaction as a coach is not producing what was expected! I was surprised at his response. He was very open and wanted to explore the potential reasons for the discouragement. By the end of meeting, I had discovered (he did not tell me this), that was investing very little time in preparation for our meeting together. I am not that great at administration, so I found myself sending in my agenda for the meeting and the needs that I wanted to discuss, at the last minute. Honestly, I gave about 5 minutes to this preparation. Then it dawned on me that I must take responsibility to think through more clearly the issues that I need to process with my coach. I did this at our next meeting, and I had one of the best coaching sessions to date that led to great strides in building a master plan for the District. The next time I find my coaching experience slipping in effectiveness, the first place I will look to address it will be with myself. Having been a coach for many others over the past 7 years, I believe there has been a corrolation of successful coaching, to pastors who came hungry and prepared to talk about issues they were seeking to address. Key principle: I must take responsibility for the success of my coaching relationship.

Just say no…not that easy…

Bruce Terpstra — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 16:35:52 +0000

My coach hit me between the eyes this past month. I told him that I didn’t get my assignments done because I was overwhelmed with commitments that I had made earlier in the year that now seem impossible to achieve. He then gave me an assignment that seemed at the time easy, but ended up being very difficult to carry out. He asked me to make a list of demands that I have said “no”. More… He also asked me not to commit to anything additional in my schedule until I spoke with my wife first! (not something that I am accustom to doing). After two weeks I still have nothing on my “no” list!

First of all, I never thought of myself as someone who had difficulty in saying no. But I found that I didn’t like to disappoint people in their expectations of me. When I tried to make a grid of importance to screen out unimportant things, I found myself coming to the conclusion that everything deserves a yes rather than a no. I made a list of things that I am good at and things that I am poor. I ran my to-do-list through the grid of my goals and the District vision. I could justify just about anything.

I am learning that I am more of a people pleaser that I like to admit. I don’t like that feeling of disappointment when I turn down a speaking engagement or decline to add the third church on a single Sunday. I know I can’t coach everyone who wants me as a coach, but I find it very difficult to say no.

Saying “no” means that I can “yes” to the things that will make the greatest difference. That is the lesson I am struggling to learn. I’m not there yet, but I am in the fight to be more effective. The side benefit is that I will have something left to give my family when I come home. On second thought, perhaps that is the primary benefit…

What does your “no” list look like? For me (an achiever by nature), the list is short. If you are an achiever, you probably could benefit from this exercise.

Ministry Priorities? What are they?

Bruce Terpstra — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 18:09:13 +0000

Successful leaders frequently evaluate what is the best use of their time and resources. So often, I am so busy with the urgent things - calls, email, problem solving - that I don’t stop to consider whether or not I am being effective. A question worth considering is, “What would be the three top activities that I could do that would move us forward in the vision God has given to us?” If I could get to those things and let other things past me by, my leadership could be so much stronger. The question is not easy to answer and the answer may shift from time to time, so I have to keep asking it. I have a coach to help me process many questions, but this question has great potential to impact my ministry, I believe, right now.

Let me just say a word about a coach. I have had a coach for the past three months. In some ways it is a pain in the neck. Remembering to call in, doing my assignments that I agreed to, and just finding the time in the schedule goes against the grain. However, I don’t think I would be addressing these important questions if I didn’t have this person in my life (Dave), asking me the hard questions. The ironic thing is that I ask these same questions to many people that I work with! Somehow, asking myself the same questions never gets done. Now you are probably wondering why you elected me to the position of DS! He doesn’t do what he preaches! True…that is why having a coach is so helpful to me.

Well, getting back to the important question of priorities. I am finding a gold mine. This month I will be blogging about my journey of self-discovery in this area. I would like this blog to become an opportunity for us to build an online community in our district where we can learn things togother. What are you learning about this topic? How are you growing? What resources have been helpful to you?

As it turns out, I have discovered that the two of the most important things that I could be doing as a DS I am not currently giving much effort because I have chosen to do other things. Moving from where I am to where I want to be is going to require a plan and some discipline. I would like to challenge the leadership in the Metro District to do some reflection on ministry priorities. What would be the three top things you could be doing to move the vision forward? What would you have to change to get these done? What would you have to stop doing? What are you doing that you are not very good at that someone else could do better?